Making a Smooth Transition from In-Person to Virtual Visits
This post was submitted by Kerrie LaRosa, LMSW.
As the entire world navigates the stress and change brought on by COVID-19, foster youth and families face unique challenges. Uncertainty is difficult for everyone, but particularly for children living in foster care. In addition to adjusting to quarantine life, visits with their biological parents have most likely moved from in-person visits to virtual visits. Whether the child is 2 months old or 18 years old, a visit over video is different than one that is in-person. Even with amazing technology to connect these families virtually, there are technological glitches, limitations to the activities they can do and an absence of physical connection. This change has occurred abruptly and without much preparation for children, biological parents, foster parents and social workers.
I often provide parent education to families during visits and this was suddenly stopped as quarantines and stay-at-home orders began. Once virtual visits between parents and children started, several parents described the challenges they were facing connecting with their children in a meaningful way virtually. As a result, I created a series of videos to share ways to connect with children virtually.
When setting up a visit, keep in mind a child’s age and developmental stage when choosing the time and length for the visits. Children have a more difficult time engaging if they are hungry or tired. Infants, toddlers and preschoolers have limited attention span and engaging virtually is harder for them than in person, therefore shorter visits may meet their needs better.
Establish a routine, especially towards the end of a visit. Starting and ending the visits with the same greeting or activity provides some comfort and sense of routine and normalcy for children. Because the visits are virtual and not in-person, children no longer have the typical cues that a visit is ending (cleaning up, putting jackets on, leaving the visit room), therefore when you create a routine that signals the end of the visit it can make the transition smoother.
Example: Start the visit with a consistent greeting and activity. Start with greeting your child, then sing a song, read a book or choose one of the activities below. At the end of the session, create another routine, sing a song or read a short book and then end with a virtual hug or kiss. For more ideas on setting up a transition routine during virtual visits, view this video.
Children may not focus their attention on the screen the entire time, but there are creative ways to engage with them and connect with them over video even if they are not looking back at the parent on the screen. There are ways to show an interest in what the child is doing, talk to them and describe what they are doing. For more information on connecting with children when they are not engaged with the screen view this video.
Using music, books, games and play will help parents and children connect during the visits. Get creative, have fun and be playful.
Play
Playing virtually is different and takes a little practice, but it can be done. The key is to be enthusiastic, playing and make it fun. Take any toys or small objects you have in your home and use them to play with your child. Show them the toys, talk about them, describe them, count them and make up a story about them. Play variations of the same game like peek-a-boo. Encourage them to show you their toys as well. Use stuffed animals and puppets to engage them. For children elementary school-age and older you can do an art project or build with blocks. Keep it simple and fun. For more ideas you can watch this video.
Music
For younger children, songs with gestures are a great way to connect, keep them engaged and teach them language skills. Songs like “The Wheels on the Bus” and “If You are Happy and You Know It” are favorites. For older children and teenagers, you can sing, dance or listen to their favorite songs together. For more information about using songs and music during visits, view this video.
Read
For infants you can read short books and show them the pictures in the book. For toddlers and preschoolers you can read books, pointing out the photos and naming objects, animals or shapes in the book. For older children you can have your child read to you, read together or read to them. For advanced readers and teenagers you can create a book club, choose a chapter to read in between visits and then discuss them during the visits. You can also listen to e-books, audiobooks and YouTube videos of authors reading their books. For more ideas on reading as a way to connect with children, view this video.
Games
Games are another way to connect during visits. For infants, toddlers, and preschoolers you can play Peek-a-Boo or eye spy (one year and older). For elementary school-age children and older you can play Simon Says, 20 questions, Card Games or Board Games. For more ideas and examples of how to play these games virtually, view this video.
Nothing is easy right now and this transition from in-person to virtual visits is very difficult for children and families. Hopefully these ideas will help make it a little easier, help you connect with your children and enjoy your visits in a new way.
For more information and videos go to LaRosa Parent Coach on Youtube.
Kerrie LaRosa is a Clinical Social Worker and a Parent Coach providing support to families and children to build connections between parents, and improve relationships. Kerrie has a specialty in working with children in the foster care system. Kerrie received a Master of Science in Social Work from Columbia University. To learn more about the services Kerrie offers you can go to www.larosaparentcoach.com.